LIGHT THE FIRE

I STAND TO PRAISE YOU

BUT I FALL ON MY KNEES.

THE SPIRIT IS WILLING

BUT THE FLESH IS SO WEAK

SO LIGHT THE FIRE

IN MY SOUL

FAN THE FLAME

MAKE ME GROW

LORD YOU KNOW

WHERE I'VE BEEN

SO LIGHT THE FIRE

IN MY HEART AGAIN

I FEEL YOUR ARMS AROUND ME

AS THE HEALING BEGINS

YOUR SPIRIT FLOWS THROUGH ME

LIKE A MIGHTY RUSHING WIND

SO LIGHT THE FIRE

IN MY SOUL

FAN THE FLAME

MAKE ME GROW

LORD YOU KNOW

WHERE I'VE BEEN

SO LIGHT THE FIRE

IN MY HEART AGAIN

What do I have to do to be

someone that everyone wants to know?

Who do I have to screw to be

the one who everyone invites out?

What do I have to know to be

the one that people come to for advice?

What do I have to show to be

the one that everyone thinks is perfect?

When do I have to talk to be

the one that everyon listens to?

Why should I have to walk when I'm

the one that no one wants to be with?

Why do I have to write when

nobody's going to read it anyway?

Why do I have to fight when

I know it'll be like this... everyday.

Hey blog...

I'm only writing because this is the only way I can get it out.

Everything's changing and I'm not ready. I need some kind of guidance and I rarely feel like I'm getting it. I should pray, but when I start to do anything spiritual, I get this feeling that rushes through my body and makes me cry. Anne says it's God's love. I can only hope so. I hardly pray, and I should change that, but when I do, I feel like it's almost wrong of me to ask Him of anything since I rarely *speak* to Him. I just feel selfish whenever I pray. I dunno. Anyone have anything to add?...

I think I might be wrong.

Wrong when I speak.

Wrong when I think.

Wrong when I think

of speaking.

I think I might be sad.

Sad about things I

really shouldn't be

sad about. Sad about

me.

I think you might be watching.

Watching me fail,

watching me hide from you

and people like you and unlike

me.

I think of you thinking of me

when you're thinking of no one

or nothing or if you

are thinking of everything

but.

I think I might be lonely.

That's why I write and

vent and avoid everyone.

Being lonely makes me want to

be.

I think I might be learning.

Learning to be wrong.

Learning to be lonely.

Learning to fail, gracefully

so.

I think it may be wrong.

Wrong to think of you as

I do. Wrong to wonder

"What if?" Right to know I'm

wrong.

I'm deeply disturbed.

I'll admit it.

I have my fair share

of problems.

People find me different

and I am

and that is fine

with me.

Am I deeply disturbed?

Or am I

just normal in a world

of deeply

disturbed people?